On spell check and my future without shoes

I'm too awake to post properly today.

I'm feeling contemplative. Thinking about my life and how much I've fucked it up. It feels like I'm stuck now, grades not good enough to get into grad school, not enough experience to get the kind of job I want, not enough guts to defy my parents and move out so as to salvage the last dregs of my sanity.

I think I've always felt ugly or at least nondescript but there was once a time when I at least had confidence in other areas of my life. Ah, the glory days when everything seemed doable and it felt like it was only a matter of choosing from amongst the possibilities.

On another note, spell check is working now though it didn't recognize "color" as being misspelled despite being set to Canadian English. It also doesn't recognize "fucked" as a word. I think that's sweet. I just noticed it took out the second space after my periods!!! Sacrilege!!