Banisher of monsters, dispatcher of ghosts

Shortly after my last post, (an eternity ago in other words), I was punished for my whining with an extended visit from extended family. Not that it wasn't fun; it was. But there was a lot to get used to in the little kid department. Suddenly there was no privacy, a pair of 12 year old eyes were always peering over my shoulder as I checked my email or facebook, little ears listening as I spoke on the phone. While my friends for the most part are well behaved, you know how it is, there's the occasional profanity (which I'm guilty of too), off coloured jokes, that sort of thing. And I felt bad just shooing her off since I knew she was bored and I well remember myself as a kid following around my mom's cousin who was maybe 8 years older than me, wanting to do everything she did, thinking we were having conversations as equals. I don't know how she put up with me. So I tried my best to do the same but found myself snapping at the poor girl sometimes. Still, I tried to make up for those slips with 'just us" outings or getting her opinion on what to wear. I hope that helped.

I was sharing a room with the younger of my two cousins who is 8. Sometimes her friend would sleep over and I'd sleep down in the basement but after she had a nightmare the first night the two of them had a sleepover (and she was so indignant that she'd prayed and had a nightmare anyway,) she'd want me to stay until she fell asleep. So I'd end up asleep on the floor and not really minding because it was such a novel feeling, having my presence be sufficient for someone to feel safe and sleep soundly. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy. Even though I have a younger sister we never really had that kind of a relationship. It's almost always been just the two of us and so we grew up with the relationship of people the same age and for the most part that's how our parents treated us (much to my annoyance at times since she'd be allowed a hard won privilege at the same time as me). After they left, it took me a while to get used to sleeping alone again, to having the space to sprawl but not having the sort of silly pre-sleep conversation one has with a sleepy 8 year old who insists that she is entirely too wide awake to sleep now (only to doze off mid sentence).

So yes, I'm lonely again. Feel free to roll your eyes.